so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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