This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
