I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
