weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
