Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
