my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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