You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
