at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
