did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
