Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
