its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
we should paint friendship bongs
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
