Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
