You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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