You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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