walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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