Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
