you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
