omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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