My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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