I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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