Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
