strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
