I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
