bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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