I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
