Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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