so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
