they need to just BURY HIM!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
