Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
