Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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