Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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