He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
