i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
