I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
