Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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