i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
