Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
