Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
