Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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