he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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