You're so nebulous sometimes
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
