why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
