I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
