Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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