I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize