Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
