i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
