How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
