I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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