Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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