i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's never too late to be topless.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
