wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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