all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
