I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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