ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
