He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I need to align my fucking chakras
Two words: nipple clamps
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