did you get engaged???
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
MIDGETS
????
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
