we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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