what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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