Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
