dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize