I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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