I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize