Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
