That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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