ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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