i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
