Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
