You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
