Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
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